Music saved me once from trauma when I was young in the 70s... then again when I was lost in the cruel realities of the super yuppie driven 80s...I found my nightclub DJ explosion and it was amazing. Yet again it was music when a decade of unbelievable DJ success began to evaporate as pop culture so cruelly became uninterested in my talents... music excitement gave me hope as my world careened out of control. And it was a chance encounter at the massive future location of a new club venue that would provide almost 10 years of the elusive mainstream popular success that evaded my grasp for years. Once again popular culture left me in the past and drove me deeper into my technology career but my lost and neglected love affair with house music finally burned bright again in the early 00s and my ability to downsize and adapt to the new pervasive small venue bar scene exploded. As my career expanded over the next decade my DJ pulse was barely alive but I never pulled the plug. Now I was financially stable but longing to be in the game again so I turned to music in a different way... not to bail me out of an imminent calamity but rather to get me back into a music business that was fully devoid of any real opportunities for any real success. The entire game changed. I was secure and there was literally zero solid reasons to walk away from a massive 16 year career and go into the dj/music world that was fully saturated by millions of new DJs who only needed a couple of $100 and zero experience to get any booking they want as long as the could generate people to show. The DJ/music world mutated into a world of promotions, connections & hype. Music was literally not a priority. But still I walked away from safety, security, insurance paid for with a guaranteed slow agonizing death behind a desk as my life spirit was slowly sucked from my inner being... one meeting presentation, one more lingering audit... one more empty conversation with fellow employees about how great it will be in 15 years when retirement kicks in and I can enjoy my broken, empty shell of a life with relative financially security. Absolutely hell no. I turned to the one lifestyle & lifesaver that always worked. I had no idea how insanely brutal this decision would be. Got married, cashed out, walked away and drove as fast as we could to NYC with no plan... a book could be written about the trials, tribulations & suffering that defined NYC but it taught me just how insanely dedicated, stubborn & flexible I was. 2015 was when the brunt of the painful reality of my decisions all hit at once. Massive hospital catastrophes, no medical insurance & a vicious bankruptcy all took their turns nailing me to the cross of my outdated, naive and pollyannish tendencies. At rock bottom... an unbelievable music renaissance infected my broken soul... the internal understanding of what exactly music means to me became crystal clear after spending the last 5 years perfecting my style and spending less time chasing a crowd concept that dosen't align with my inner being. That journey showed actual success in the club world... then Covid. Are you kidding me... you must be kidding me. Like the true music FreakQ of nature that I am, I went back underground... secluded & surrounded by 10s of thousands of untapped songs spanning all media forms... music dying to be dissected, resurrected & reborn fully inside me in order to finish the journey. The final fight is coming. Failure is always guaranteed at some level but the failures continually stoke the fires that will burn until my last breath... so stay tuned because I bring more than songs with me to every gig/event and you deserve it because you bring your life story with you as well... which makes the dancefloor so much sweeter, so much more important than I ever knew.
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